Overcome the Imposter

by Megan Militello

y grandfather and father are both entrepreneurs, so naturally, being an entrepreneur was a dream of mine growing up. I remember selling handmade pipe-cleaner flowers and concocting other business plans as I sat in the office of my grandmother, who was the CFO. It was your classic family owned and operated business. However, in the background, there was a childhood full of chaos: a broken home, a mother I rarely saw after age nine, and a father who was always working. Entering high school, I had low aspirations and lacked direction, and I was completely unaware of the opportunities available to me or the unique capabilities I possessed.

One day, a good friend reigned me in to listen to an Army recruiter, and I immediately recognized how much direction and purpose the military could provide. Free access to college was even more enticing. Two weeks later, with nine months left in high school, I enlisted in the Army to be an air traffic controller. I thrived as a soldier, and after an honorable discharge, I went on to work for the Department of Defense and Federal Aviation Administration, additionally earning a master’s degree in aeronautical science. While I loved being a controller, I knew something was missing. My day-to-day felt more about money and power, less about passion and drive.

I Took a Chance

Striving for a different life with my second husband, I passed on a supervisor opportunity with the FAA and completely switched gears. I moved to the Big Island of Hawaii and ran a home-based Airbnb. I leaned into the things that I loved, becoming a certified personal trainer, gardening, and selling pre-made salads and snacks. Ultimately, I knew I wanted to help people live a better life.

…I knew something was missing. My day-to-day felt more about money and power, less about passion and drive.

Unknown mental health issues in my marriage were the catalyst for a new journey where I went all in on myself and put action to an idea. I sought refuge in my dad’s basement in Alaska and, with nothing to lose, I started Elevated Oats, a gourmet granola manufacturing business, with my best friend from the Army.

This quarter-life crisis turned into a journey of self-discovery, self-leadership, and healing.

Inspired by a Dream

It’s been almost two and a half years since I dedicated my life to growing Elevated Oats, and I am beyond proud of what we’ve built and our achievements. Elevated Oats was named 2021 Veteran Start-up of the Year by the Rosie Network. We won the People’s Choice Award through a gBETA Accelerator and Alaska Pitchfest, and have had countless praise for our success as a new company. True to my passion for helping people live a better life, Elevated Oats’ colorful granola is sweetened with fruits, veggies, and other natural sources, hand-crafted as a nutrient-dense, versatile snack for the outdoor recreational millennial. As part of my leadership journey, it was important to me personally to develop a path for other health-minded individuals to be able to choose foods that are uplifting—mind, body, and soul. I believe this is the gateway to living not just a good life but an elevated life. It’s not just about granola. My company brings awareness to mental illness, promotes outdoor activity, and builds a community of like-minded individuals. It embodies my point of view as a leader and provides an avenue to inspire others.

I learned about imposter syndrome, a psychological pattern where a person doubts their accomplishments and fears being discovered as a fraud. This discovery was new and hit a nerve, as I often felt uncomfortable and unworthy.

The Imposter

While the experience has been motivating and fulfilling, there were curious and admittedly frightening moments when I felt that I hadn’t accomplished anything or that I was unworthy of praise. I sometimes cringed at compliments and often felt uncomfortable. It was in these moments that I told myself, “Growth doesn’t come from comfort zones.” I frequented my therapist with challenging thoughts about perception, self-doubt, and fear. I did research on the internet and watched TED Talks to understand and overcome the feeling of self-doubt.

I learned about imposter syndrome, a psychological pattern where a person doubts their accomplishments and fears being discovered as a fraud. This discovery was new and hit a nerve, as I often felt uncomfortable and unworthy. Everything in my life had abruptly changed. I had left my home, my husband, and my career path. I was grieving and felt insecure in a new industry, but as I read more about it so many past experiences resonated.

Ironically, writing this article has opened my eyes. I procrastinated, fearing that I didn’t have the authority to say anything about leadership or lessons for readers to take away, and suffered through anxiety as the deadline approached. I read over other articles, which only made me retreat more.

Impostor syndrome had set in.

Then I asked myself: Why? Why do I feel this way? I tell myself, “I don’t belong here.”

Fear has a funny way of burying accomplishments, of surfacing feelings of inadequacy. I recall major insecurities when I started a new position as an air traffic controller in the FAA, as if I hadn’t been certified at several other air traffic facilities. I remember being outside the tower in tears questioning if I was capable of even being a controller. I failed to recall the Bronze Star I received in Iraq, numerous tower certifications, and promotions to leadership positions.

Growth does not come from comfort zones. Lean into those moments, challenge those thoughts and be compassionate with yourself.

Awareness Sparks Action

Awareness is the first step toward change. The second step is to take action.

Exercising self-awareness and self-leadership is a never-ending practice. Self-leadership is actively developing a confident sense of who you are, taking ownership of what you do, and being intentional about where you are going. Developing self-awareness and self-leadership skills is the best thing you can do to become a better leader. The continual practice makes it easier to recognize patterns and break free to move forward. Being on a similar journey with others and being open about your experience can create a deeper connection and allow for additional perspectives and support.

Growth does not come from comfort zones. Lean into those moments, challenge those thoughts, and be compassionate with yourself. If I didn’t seek opportunities or challenge myself to take a chance, who knows how life would have played out.

Here are my tips for combating the feeling of being an impostor:

1. Talk about it.
You are not your feelings. You experience your feelings. Separate those fraudulent thoughts from yourself. Talk to friends who will shine light on your accomplishments.

2. Change the script.
Bring awareness to your inner dialog. Rather than allowing those fraudulent thoughts to take up space, make the choice to change the narrative.

3. Practice self-compassion.
Give yourself the same kindness you’d give to an old friend. Growth is a life-long journey.