This I Believe

Hands making a heart shape

This I Believe

by Mary Barber, APR, Fellow PRSA
I

t’s easy to sit back and fret these days about the state of our world and wonder how we’re going to make any progress if we can’t even agree on what’s for dinner (never an argument in this house, as I decide and you eat or don’t). What’s more challenging is deciding how you’re going to make a difference in your community so we can begin to change the state of the world.

Leaving the world a better place is something I’ve worked on all my life. I learned by example from wonderful parents who stressed the importance of giving back to others. They taught us, through their example, how to leave a place better than it was when we arrived. Among other things, my parents started the first neighborhood association, worked to put a freeway underground and changed the location of a light rail line. In short, they put their energy where their mouths were, and so do I. Whether as a Sunday school teacher or a Red Cross volunteer in high school, a leader in my fraternity in college or member of the many nonprofit boards I’ve served, my focus has always been on improving community.

I do this because I believe that each one of us can make a difference. I believe in man’s desire to do good and make the world a better place. That’s not to say I don’t ever get discouraged or anxious. Leaders are human, after all. But leaders focus on doing good, on what can be done alone but also on what can be accomplished together.

…I believe that each one of us can make a difference. I believe in man’s desire to do good and make the world a better place. That’s not to say I don’t ever get discouraged or anxious. Leaders are human, after all.
I’m inspired by so many but am often moved by an Edward R Murrow program first created in the 1950s called This I Believe (https://www.npr.org/series/4538138/this-i-believe). The program was resurrected in the early 2000s; the messages are ageless. I found that my commitment to community and ability to lead meaningful change were stronger once I could articulate my own beliefs. My journey to save the world succeeds best when I focus on what I believe. So, this I believe…

I believe in the humanity of man.
I believe that we all have, in our heart of hearts, the overwhelming desire to do good.
I believe in love.
I believe in the power of kindness, the power of listening and of hearing.
I believe in our desire to work together to make the world a better place, and to care for it for our children.
I believe there is more than one way to do everything, that collaboration and compromise are the name of the game.
I believe in God. I believe your god might be different from mine, but yours is just as wonderful a guiding light as mine.
I believe it is my duty to help others.

Not only do these beliefs guide me where to go, they also stop me from straying. If an opportunity, no matter how seemingly lucrative, doesn’t fit within my belief system, I walk away. It’s what keeps me happy and sustained. As a public relations professional, if I don’t believe in a cause or product I can’t possibly tell an authentic story. And that authenticity is at the core of our professional ethics. You see, we believe in the free and accurate flow of information. We support transparency, honesty, and disclosure of information. As a leader and counselor, it’s my responsibility to tell you when you’ve crossed a line. I believe it’s why you ask for my advice.

Yet, it’s important to mention that even when I’m giving negative feedback, I believe it should be done with respect, kindness and based on facts. Leaders provide feedback in ways that others can learn from. They coach and support rather than using ridicule and anger. There’s an old proverb: “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” This I believe.

I Believe in Our Desire to Work Together
Most of us want to work as a group to accomplish tasks. Doing so can regularly result in a better outcome than originally expected and create some long-lasting relationships. I once led a community assessment committee that needed to include a much larger group than we knew could be successful. As the leader, I knew the importance of having all the voices at the table so everyone was part of the solution. But it was hard! We made sure everyone had a way to contribute and then found common ground from which we could measure success.
I’ll go back to my parents for a second. They formed the neighborhood association because the local hospital was infringing on the neighborhood and forcing small businesses to close. Instead of attacking, they worked together to create a master plan for the area. The hospital executives, small-business owners, homeowners, renters and other stakeholders worked together to meet each other’s needs. They formed an alliance that is still strong today even though the original parties have long since moved on. Fifty years later, the neighborhood is thriving, friendships continue to grow and a generation of young people want to accomplish things together.
I Believe in the Power of Kindness
The news each day, regardless of where you get your news, is filled with vitriol and negativity. People feel empowered to verbally abuse and attack others; there are examples everywhere of people bending the rules as well as a disrespect for social norms. We’ve lost all respect for another person’s viewpoint, and instead want to stop things from happening without even listening to each other. The pandemic has caused us all to want things we can’t control, and often we want those things at the expense of others.

I’ve chosen to believe that together we can make a difference. We can be part of the solution. We can work together with others and move the needle forward. We can say no to bullies and those who try to stop society in its tracks.

Volunteers pose for a picture

I’ve chosen to believe that together we can make a difference. We can be part of the solution. We can work together with others and move the needle forward. We can say no to bullies and those who try to stop society in its tracks.

It has also caused an erosion of trust in organizations and people we’ve relied on for years. As our use of social media has grown, so has distrust, anger and disinformation. We must learn to trust the experts again and to understand the good that leaders can do. Social media has brought us all closer, and that’s not always a good thing. We know more about each other’s lives than ever before, and we often share more than we need to as well. It’s time to go back to an earlier day, when I heard my grandmother say, “Keep your comments to yourself” and “If you don’t have anything nice to say, please say nothing at all.” Leaders keep this filter in place, and so shall I. I beg of you, please, the next time you’re ready to launch off on a social network about someone or something else, take a pause. Do some research to check facts. Type the message and walk away before sending. I like to imagine how I’d feel if I received the message I just typed. When I come back to the computer, I consider the message again and only then hit send. Pausing can save relationships and keep us from saying things we know we shouldn’t.

I Believe in the Power to Change

The negative can overcome us all, but we have a choice. We can sit quietly, or we can work to change our world for the better. Not surprisingly, I have chosen the latter. Because I want to live in a kinder, gentler and more compassionate world, and one that will be here in 200 years, I’ve decided to take steps to make an impact. I have:

  • Joined my local parks commission
  • Committed to calling out disinformation
  • Become a leader in a political group trying to affect change
  • Taught my children by example
  • Focused on what I can do instead of on what others can do to me

I’ve chosen to believe that together we can make a difference. We can be part of the solution. We can work together with others and move the needle forward. We can say no to bullies and those who try to stop society in its tracks.

This I Believe
One of my other core beliefs is politeness. My children learned early in life that “please” and “thank you” got them what they wanted. So, THANK YOU for reading this. Finally, PLEASE go out and change the world in a way that you believe.
Mary Deming Barber

Mary Deming Barber, APR, Fellow PRSA, is semi-retired from her strategic communications consultancy but continues to help people understand how to integrate new media into traditional communication programs. During her 40-year career, she specialized in helping food and beverage companies, commodity boards and restaurants. Barber has counseled clients in Anchorage, San Francisco, Oregon, and Colorado, working with a variety of food organizations, several agencies, and as a key team member on two successful US Senate campaigns. Today, she also serves on the Gig Harbor Parks Commission, is on the leadership team for a nonpartisan national political group, volunteers for her alma mater, and is president of her sorority’s alumnae group.

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Mary Deming Barber, APR, Fellow PRSA, is semi-retired from her strategic communications consultancy but continues to help people understand how to integrate new media into traditional communication programs. During her 40-year career, she specialized in helping food and beverage companies, commodity boards and restaurants. Barber has counseled clients in Anchorage, San Francisco, Oregon, and Colorado, working with a variety of food organizations, several agencies, and as a key team member on two successful US Senate campaigns. Today, she also serves on the Gig Harbor Parks Commission, is on the leadership team for a nonpartisan national political group, volunteers for her alma mater, and is president of her sorority’s alumnae group.

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