hile some people prefer jelly over jam, I prefer jam. Honestly, I can’t tell the difference; I just like saying the word “jam.” Whenever anyone asks me what I think about mentoring, I always reply, “That’s my jam!” Although I am a professional executive-level coach and have coached many executives on how to improve their leadership abilities and performance, it is working with aspiring leaders that really inspires and motivates me to be a better leader.

Mutually Beneficial Relationships

Mentorship is hard work. I know this firsthand because I have mentored countless others throughout my human resources (HR) career. My interactions have been formal, informal, and sometimes a combination of both. Whatever the situation, for me the outcome has always been the same: gratitude. Gratitude that someone thought enough of me to ask if I would provide them with guidance on how to progress their career. Let’s face it: Not everyone is meant to be a mentor, and that’s hard to admit, especially if you’re in a leadership role. I take this thing called mentoring personally and take great pains to keep it sacred.

Mentoring Is Always Impactful

Human resources was not my first career. I actually spent seven years as an executive assistant. During that time, I never had a mentor. No one was jumping up and down with a sign that read, “Ask me to be your mentor,” and honestly, I am not sure I would have known how to ask for mentorship.

When I entered the HR field, I was a reluctant participant. I was a top-notch executive assistant and the role came with a lot of prestige and power working for hospital CEOs and chief medical officers who did not view HR in the same way. Back then HR was branded as the “hire-and-fire” department, and I was hesitant to be associated with a department with that type of reputation. But I ultimately decided to step into a new opportunity.

My very first job in this new field was working in a hospital for the vice president of HR. A black woman. A unicorn in HR at that time and a woman who presented me with a life-changing opportunity: to be a mentee. She taught me everything about HR from the ground up. If it wasn’t for Brenda Coley’s constant insistence that I become her HR assistant, I can honestly say I wouldn’t be where I am today. That was more than 20 years ago, and since then I have had zero mentors. Why is that, you may ask? Keep reading and I’ll tell you why.

When it comes to mentorship, representation matters. In every organization where I have worked there has rarely been someone at the executive level who looked like me. And by that, I mean Black, whether male or female. People feel more comfortable having someone as a mentor who looks like them; it creates a more relatable environment. I have also found that organizations that have established or are looking to implement a mentorship program don’t know how to screen for qualified mentors, nor properly match mentors and mentees. Each time I became a mentor, someone had sought me out. And, guess what? They were people of color, men and women.

When it comes to mentorship, representation matters… People feel more comfortable having someone as a mentor who looks like them; it creates a more relatable environment.

Be Brave

I’m a member of the Austin chapter of the Society for Human Resource Management and recently participated in their mentoring program as a mentor. I have been told by my mentee, as well as the mentorship program manager, that when mentees found out that I was volunteering to be a mentor, there was an all-out bidding war among participants seeking my mentorship. While humbling, the circumstances were a clear reminder that more people of color need mentors and more people of color need to be mentors. Making the decision to become a mentor requires more than sharing your knowledge and experience. It requires that you be vulnerable, patient, empathetic, caring and, above all else, brave. It takes bravery: bravery to take on the responsibility of possibly changing the trajectory of someone’s life, personally and professionally.

When I was the chief learning officer for the Washington State Employment Security Department, I had the pleasure of mentoring a young gentleman who was eager to pick my brain about everything and then some! When we first met, I was presenting on the topic of employee engagement for staff at the Department of Social and Health Services, and he just happened to be in the room. He asked me if I would consider mentoring him and I have been doing so since 2016. He has progressed his career from the ranks of a specialist to that of a high-level manager in a large state agency.

I’d like to think that I had something to do with the success of both of these individuals. But it was always within them to be a greater version of themselves; I was just the conduit helping them realize that they had greatness within them all along. In both of these situations, I have built lifelong relationships professionally and personally that I wouldn’t trade for all the jam in the world!

The greatest joy I get out of mentoring is knowing that those I have mentored know our relationship goes far beyond a structured mentoring program. I feel immense joy when I see an email or text asking if I have time to talk them through a situation. On the flip side, I also feel joy when I am able to share with my mentees some of my challenges. I know that when a mentee asks about what’s going on in my personal or professional career, I have made an impact far beyond expectations. That’s called care, concern and empathy.

If you’re thinking about becoming a mentor, always begin by asking yourself why you want to be a mentor. Once you are sure of your purpose, here are some HELP-ful tips for you to consider as you start the journey:

• How will you establish expectations and desired outcomes for both parties? Be clear about how you will inform each other when expectations or outcomes aren’t met.
• Engage. How often will you meet and by what methods, i.e., phone, video, in-person? Mentees should take the initiative in scheduling meetings.
• Learn and listen. It’s a two-way street when it comes to mentoring. Both parties should be proactive in listening, receiving and giving feedback.
• Plan, partner and participate. Be respectful of each other’s time. Show up, be supportive and seek to build meaningful and long-lasting relationships.

At the end of it all, just have fun! The best part about mentoring is forming relationships. It doesn’t always have to be 100 percent about business. When you get to know someone on a personal level, it sets the building blocks for a relationship of trust. It also creates a space for psychological safety, allowing for open, honest and transparent conversations. I consider mentoring a privilege. Be the difference in someone’s life, personally and professionally, by becoming a mentor. You may just find out that’s your jam, too!