I Don’t Believe in Imposter Syndrome typography

by Zovig Garboushian

I

‘ll start by saying that I don’t believe in imposter syndrome. When I hear those words, I cringe. And when I listen to them applied to women, I cringe even more. Imposter syndrome is used frequently to describe the self-doubt, uncertainty, and unsureness which can happen to anyone, but is particularly pronounced in professional women because we work within systems and institutions designed for men.

When we believe what our feelings tell us as truth, we run the risk of slowing or even stopping our forward momentum.

Imposters are fakes, frauds, people who want to fool you into believing they’re something or someone they’re not. Syndrome sounds like we’ve fallen ill and desperately need a fainting couch. Imposter syndrome is used to describe the temporary self-doubt, uncertainty, or insecurity that can come from being the only woman in the room, stepping into something new, and taking risks. Labeling that experience as an “imposter” is, at best, uncompassionate and offensive.

Instead of labeling ourselves as imposters, I’d prefer to look at the emotions and thoughts that come with the experience, because that’s the only way we can take the stigma out of it and debunk it as being wrong.

Early Settings

My first experience with what we call imposter syndrome happened in grade school. I was starting the fifth grade at a new school and was late for my first day. I got to my classroom, and when I opened the door, all the students swung their heads around and stared at me. It felt like the earth came to a record-screeching halt. No one invited me in—not the teacher, not any students—and so I stood there frozen, feeling like an outsider and physically being on the outside.

I don’t recall how long it took me to finally enter the room and find my desk, but it seemed like I was standing at the threshold for a year. I was humiliated. All I wanted was to blend in with my new schoolmates; instead, I stood out.

Painting of woman with abstract colorful shapes covering the top of her head

I Don’t Believe in Imposter Syndrome

by Zovig Garboushian
I

‘ll start by saying that I don’t believe in imposter syndrome. When I hear those words, I cringe. And when I listen to them applied to women, I cringe even more. Imposter syndrome is used frequently to describe the self-doubt, uncertainty, and unsureness which can happen to anyone, but is particularly pronounced in professional women because we work within systems and institutions designed for men.

When we believe what our feelings tell us as truth, we run the risk of slowing or even stopping our forward momentum.

Imposters are fakes, frauds, people who want to fool you into believing they’re something or someone they’re not. Syndrome sounds like we’ve fallen ill and desperately need a fainting couch. Imposter syndrome is used to describe the temporary self-doubt, uncertainty, or insecurity that can come from being the only woman in the room, stepping into something new, and taking risks. Labeling that experience as an “imposter” is, at best, uncompassionate and offensive.

Instead of labeling ourselves as imposters, I’d prefer to look at the emotions and thoughts that come with the experience, because that’s the only way we can take the stigma out of it and debunk it as being wrong.

Early Settings

My first experience with what we call imposter syndrome happened in grade school. I was starting the fifth grade at a new school and was late for my first day. I got to my classroom, and when I opened the door, all the students swung their heads around and stared at me. It felt like the earth came to a record-screeching halt. No one invited me in—not the teacher, not any students—and so I stood there frozen, feeling like an outsider and physically being on the outside.

I don’t recall how long it took me to finally enter the room and find my desk, but it seemed like I was standing at the threshold for a year. I was humiliated. All I wanted was to blend in with my new schoolmates; instead, I stood out.

Feeling Like You Don’t Belong
There are many circumstances and scenarios when these imposter experiences can happen. Having a different working style than your colleagues, spending a lot of time working alone, stepping into a new role or job, and being the only one among your peers. All of these can cause you to feel like you don’t belong, like you’re the only one trying to fit in among people who all seem to know the secret assignment you never got. In school, I was the only Armenian kid, the only one with wild, dark hair, and the only one with a non-typical name. I pretended to be unfazed in that doorway, but I was absolutely, one-hundred-percent fazed.

Thinking back to that moment, it’s analogous to the leadership experiences I and my clients have had. Like being a newly minted CFO about to present to a room full of men in your first board meeting. Or raising your hand in a team meeting to ask the tough question everyone else avoids while trying not to seem pushy.

No matter the scenario, the common denominator is that it can feel like we’re not good enough, that we need to be something else and something better to succeed. It’s a moment when our real-world achievements don’t match our self-belief.

But what if instead of fearing that we don’t have what it takes and pressuring ourselves to be who we think we should be, we embrace the imposter experience as a sign that we’re breaking a barrier, that we’re onto something big?

Feelings Are Emotions with Stories
When we step into something unfamiliar, a moment when self-doubt may creep in, we feel certain emotions. Self-rationalization rears its head and we tell ourselves stories about what those emotions must mean. For instance, I’m anxious, this must mean I don’t know what I’m doing. But emotions can come and go in minutes; they’re physiological responses that our body has based on outside stimuli. In other words, they’re not a great source of truth. Feelings, on the other hand, are emotions with a story attached, and they have staying power. They can live on for minutes, days, months, or even years.

When we believe what our feelings tell us as truth, we run the risk of slowing or even stopping our forward momentum. We may say no when we want to say yes, and we may turn down the opportunity rather than grab it with both hands; we may stay quiet when we have something compelling to say.

While the imposter experience is not our fault, it is on us to assert some space between ourselves and our feelings. I like to think of the imposter experience as a necessary and intense inflow of important information—the emotions and stories—which can force us to get into the habit of self-validation and deeper self-compassion.

Practicing Self-Awareness to Debunk Our Imposter Feelings
Putting space between ourselves and our feelings can be easier said than done. I won’t lie; it can feel impossible to separate ourselves from our emotions and feelings, particularly for those of us who use our hearts to navigate the world. If you’re about to walk into a leadership meeting to present your brand new big idea, your heart may be pounding too loudly to think about much else.

So prime yourself ahead of time, or give yourself time to debrief and reflect after. Do this kind of self-awareness work in tiny stages (and I do mean tiny). Start by simply noticing yourself the next time you’re experiencing what is called imposter syndrome. What thoughts tag along, and are they in service of you? Allow yourself a chance to reframe what you feel as uncertainty or insecurity (or another name that feels right for you) and permit yourself to let go of what you make those feelings mean.

All you’re going for is the ability to press pause on the internal storytelling long enough to unlink from it and get reconnected to what you know in your bones: your years of experience, your ability to lead with empathy and decisiveness, your technical chops, industry expertise, and so on.

Nurturing Self
As women who lead, we can self-support by giving ourselves the grace and space to not know without making it mean more than that. Being vocal about how we feel and normalizing it for one another is also an effective way to build support for each other. It’s far too easy for me to pile on top of my feelings with perfectionist expectations, and the world does enough of that for me already.

Every time we step up, our confidence will get retested, and it’s a moment to meet ourselves where we are, imperfections and all. If we can practice putting a pause on the imposter swirl, we can recognize it for what it is—a moment in time, not a permanent state or a referendum on who we are as people. Then, we can embrace the feelings as information and have the freedom to make conscious choices about how we want to proceed.

Encouraging Others
Supporting women who lead can come from anyone at any time by making space and celebrating their ideas and their excellence, regularly and often. Give women reinforcement through actionable feedback and equitable opportunities. The circumstances for imposter syndrome originate outside us, so let’s work on how we can level those circumstances and take the pressure off women to make it better for everyone else.
Zovig Garboushian headshot
Zovig Garboushian is the founder and CEO of Boldness Ablaze Coaching. She is a coach, a speaker, and a trainer specializing in coaching to advance women in leadership. She began her career in New York City working in magazines and digital marketing and after 13 years shifted to focus on career development, organizational change, and building leaders. She has 20-plus years of multidisciplinary training and experience in coaching, communication, organizational change, and leadership development. Her vision is a world where women go after what they want boldly and unapologetically, and she is tireless in helping her clients embody their roles as leaders so they can make conscious, powerful choices that positively impact themselves and the organizations they serve. Garboushian has a BA in psychology from CSU Sacramento, is a certified professional coach (iPEC, ICF) and a Prosci Certified Change Manager, and is certified in the Narrative Big 5 Personality and Energy Leadership Index Assessments. She lives in Woodinville, WA with her husband and their two dogs.

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